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[08 Nov 2009|05:21am] |
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when i was younger, i used to be drawn to ugly things -- especially ugly clothes -- just for the sake of being hilariously ugly. i have, with a few inevitable exceptions, more or less outgrown this, except i think maybe i just channeled it into a passion for hideous pajamas.
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[24 Oct 2009|12:27am] |
you know, i am much, much better than i used to be about calling people out about spelling and grammar mistakes. frankly, it's not my place; grammar is my Thing -- it would be equally offensive if (AS MY DAD USED TO DO), somebody sat beside my as i'm playing my piano, pointing out every misplayed note that they effortlessly learned.
but there remains something so wildly disconcerting when i read these casual, inconsequential blurbs by middle-aged women, mothers, teachers, which are so borderline illiterate -- we're not talking a misspelled word here and there, which, anymore, i do not care about unless it's on a sign -- we're talking a complete, absolute inability to grasp the basics of language.
all the time.
like this is not somebody for whom the particulars of strunk & white maybe didn't click. this is somebody who capitalizes arbitrarily, puts quotation marks instead of italics, and just sort of haphazardly throws out apostrophes like they're compliments.
and they're procreating, and TEACHING THEIR CHILDREN.
and then wonders why we worry about our future.
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[11 Oct 2009|07:46pm] |
i am convinced that all of the automotive-safety signage in this town are created by the same semi-literate jackass.
this weekend is the beginning of biketoberfest in our culture-laden city -- which, honestly, i don't especially mind the bikers; they're generally just rich people having fun, and don't tend to bring the douchery that the nascar fans bring. and so there are signs posted everywhere welcoming them, and requesting they respect the locals, engine-revving-wise. and while these signs aren't blatantly incorrect, per se, they're just... very awkward. completely lacking in punctuation, and it seems like the word order is just off. i wish i had pictures of them, but one says, "RIDE QUIETLY PLEASE," and the other says "YOU'RE BACK WE'RE GLAD". which have the same childlike feel to them as the sign on my street, "ARE YOU SPEEDING WE ARE WATCHING".
at least they finally fixed the one sign that for so many years said "PLEASE RIDE QUIET," with an -LY invariably magic-markered in at the edge.
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[17 Sep 2009|09:55pm] |
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i really like this ella maillant woman.
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[11 Sep 2009|12:54am] |
hi i need a new phone like tomorrow
i have att
i dont care about fancy shit -- need texting, inet would be cool but not necessary -- i don't even know where to start
afraid retailers are going to just fuck my eyeballs cause i don't know what's going on :(
halp!
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[01 Sep 2009|08:51pm] |
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[20 Aug 2009|06:31pm] |
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thinking about it, the weirdest part about growing up into this late-20s miasma of adulthood is not in fact seeing all your old friends start to marry and procreate and all that shit. it's when the inevitable handful wind up becoming teachers, and you look back on what you/they used to do -- or still do, after-hours -- and then look back on the young set of your early teachers with this kind of moment of dawning horror.
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[20 Aug 2009|12:50am] |
today was my antepenultimate day at work.
you have NO idea how good it felt to being to viably use antepenultimate. probably ALMOST better than the actual antepenultimacy of the day.
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[12 Aug 2009|03:50pm] |
you know what's a goddamn weird feeling? being in a good mood for like... days.
i'm so excited to move at the moment; i'm just not thinking about how it's actually going to be, i don't care just yet. in a month i will probably be sullen and mocking myself for being so excited but it's not a month yet. it is wednesday afternoon; i called off work, i only have seven more days, i have amazing homemade huevos rancheros and beer, and i have that rare rare feeling that MAYBE things are going to be okay.
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[02 Jul 2009|08:31pm] |
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'kay so, for the first time in like three years, i am sick enough that i decided to see a doctor. this, of course, happens to fall within the like only WEEK in those three years that i don't have insurance, as i apparently let it expire. i'm sure it's just a random sickness but i have become one of those people i hate, researching swine flu symptoms and all that. which it's not, but the body aches are kind of awful, and holy fucking excruciating sore throat. like honestly, my timing is motherfucking impeccable.
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[14 Mar 2009|04:31pm] |
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what are some good office desk type plants?
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[26 Jan 2009|01:29am] |
lately i have been wanting to watch movies. this is unusual for me, you realize -- the set-up of my room reflects this; i can watch my television -- no cable, no channels even, so only movies -- either from my really not so comfortable computer chair, or from my bed which is much too far to do so.
i've considered how maybe i can rearrange my room to make it a bit better, but it spirals into exhausting so quick -- even assuming my room were clean, i'd at the least have to move one lamp, a bursting bookcase, dresser, the air conditioner semi-stowed under the television, some plants, probably put my computer in a case after a year and a half -- adjust, adjust, adjust.
but it's been appealing, i guess, some other way to lose myself. some normal way, maybe, except not really; watch movie after movie after movie, oh, so romantic. i can sort of feel myself fading: you know those 3 o'clock in the mornings, when you're lying rigid in your bed, staring at the ceiling, you're crushed by love and fear and hate; i think there's something universal about those 3 o'clocks -- and so those 3 o'clocks creep in, like toxic sucking little leeches, until they're 3 and 12 and 9 and 6, and all your library books can't beat it away, and even your video games; maybe the epiphany will come from this medium, of course, of course.
so now my dreams are contracting, for this day, this week, from japan, from paris, from upstate new york, to just a small little den, no computer, no links, just a little cave, warm and womb-like, where i can live a life that is not my life.
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[08 Nov 2008|03:51pm] |
and on a completely unrelated note --
you know what, i'm not ashamed of my prepubescent crush on axl rose. fuck you all.
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[07 Nov 2008|06:07pm] |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmX3qXDVjjs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPsV6ZhL15c
ehheh.
yes. i am vastly relieved that the election is over, and over so incredibly (trying not to let the gay marriage ban(s) sour it, even though it already has). i still can't wrap my head around it entirely, every time i see president-elect obama. barack hussein obama. it's beautiful in so many ways.
and i think most people would acknowledge that mccain's concession was a thing of beauty and class.
however, i don't think i can ever forgive letting sarah palin within a thousand miles of the white house. between that and the reelection of george w., i don't know which is more of a shuddering abomination of politics.
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[05 Nov 2008|01:11am] |
oh my god.
i am not, tonight, ashamed to be an american.
i have also never before known what it felt like to cry over my country.
i'm speechless.
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[04 Nov 2008|11:16am] |
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dear god, america, please don't fuck this up.
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[06 Oct 2008|10:07pm] |
everyone looks at me strangely when i say that i'd rather lose my hearing than my sense of smell (probably much like i look at those who would rather lose their eyesight than their hearing). it's funny, i guess, how little connection i have to sound. i don't learn auditorially. i never have. i never had that ability some people have to replay what was just said. i'm tone-deaf. i'm even vaguely uncomfortable with spoken conversation, with the sound of my own voice.
and i don't listen to music, which is the weirdest part. i like music -- i even love some of it -- but i don't listen to it. i haven't bought a cd or downloaded a song in many, many years. sometimes when i'm talking with someone about music, i'll feel the need to listen to it, but never when i'm just here. sometimes i'll open winamp -- because i don't care enough, obviously, to use itunes -- and hit shuffle, and every song that comes on i fast-forward until i just close the thing in frustration. it throws me off-balance in my head.
i guess for a brief period in college, i did, when the skin of my life was fairly rich and shiny even as the skeleton was beginning to crumble. even then, though, it was semi forced enthusiasm. when i was a kid, like in middle school when everyone began getting interested in things beyond jumprope and action figures, i remeeber faking it, plastering my notebooks with the names of whatever bands were on MTV that i knew other people liked. i knew the cool bands, i'd heard them, and i liked them; i was just entirely disinterested.
with smells, it's not like i'm constantly in the throes of olfactory orgasms, and really more smells than not are unpleasant in the day to day. but that idea of smell being the most evocative sense is so true for me; it's the absolute only thing in the world that can knock me out of my own head, even if for a fraction of a second. they can bring back memories of a garden in switzerland, a toy from early childhood, lovers long since half-forgotten. even songs that are strongly associated with certain people or places or time, it's so much more of a conscious, obvious reminder, it doesn't have anywhere near the same pull. whenever a finger of sea air reaches me deeper in the city, it's such a shock of mixed emotions, it feels like a physical impact.
for whatever reason, the only sound that really has that effect, that ability to almost draw me out of my body, is the sound of a train going by somewhere in the distance. that, and perhaps the dance of the sugarplum fairy.
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intercat's journal